Postpartum Essentials
When I was pregnant our midwife made a point that we needed to have a "postpartum plan", she said it was as important if not more than our birth plan. Birth happens, in a matter of hours or a few short days sometimes ;) but then baby arrives, and the rest of your life begins. After giving birth you are on such a high, a floating cloud of happiness, in your little baby bubble, but you're also sore and tired and it feels like your brain has left your body temporarily (mine hasn't quite come back yet haha)
This is when you need to have a plan in place, to have a support system in place, and prepare as much as possible so you can do nothing but rest and soak up your new little bundle of joy, bonding with your baby, letting your body heal, establishing breastfeeding (if you choose to do so), and bonding as a family unit.
In many cultures the postpartum period is sacred, I wanted to bring some of that into our postpartum plan. It varies from culture to culture, but it is the norm for the mother to have a 'lying-in' period which can last from 30 days (China, Thailand), up to 40 (India, Iran...) or even 100 days! Where the mother and baby are allowed to rest as much as possible, eating warming healing foods that promote milk production, and let to do as little as possible other than caring for a brand new human (which is a lot!)
I knew that aiming for 40 days was maybe a little long, but I wanted our first month after Lyla's birth to be as calm and set up for bonding and healing as much as possible. Michael took 3 weeks of pat leave + 1 week holiday when she arrived so he was with us for the first month, and he did so so much, I am not sure how I could have done it without him! I didn't cook anything for the first few weeks, he cared for everything around the house and our day-to-day like walking Nemo, so I was left to rest and focus on Lyla as much as possible.
There is a lot you cannot plan for, if this is your first baby, the postpartum period is something you cannot quite imagine until you're in it, and everyone's experience and healing is very different, healing is never linear, but having a few things set up to help make it as smooth and wonderful as possible is key!
Here are a few things we did in preparation before Lyla arrived :
Food prepped as much as our freezer would allow. For a few weeks before my due date we tried to make extra of a few meals and froze the leftovers. Things that could defrost easily like curries, dahl, lasagna, soups etc... (I daydreamed of buying a deep freeze but we just had to deal with our small London flat freezer haha)
Planned for some food deliveries like All Plants, or Riverford (use our discount code if you'd like! I beleive it gives you £15 off our first order -- I'm not affiliated to them this is just our personal referral code)
We had organised help with Nemo for the first few days, so we knew he was looked after and happy with our friends and neighbours (which was a god send as we had to be in hospital for a bit!)
We organised to have a cleaner come in once a week for a month to help around the house.
We organised and set up our home for baby's arrival, getting some essentials (we did do a lot of last min ordering once she was here too.. haha there are just some things you don't know you need until you're in it.. and making sure everything had a place and things were organised and tidy (thanks to the nesting hormones!)
Prepared our bedroom to be a cosy cocoon as we knew we would be spending a lot of time in there! low lighting, lots of pillows, fresh flowers, cosy new bedding, just little things to make it extra for baby's arrival!
I bought some essentials for me (see below) to help with my healing, with my lochia post-birth, and heal my body.
Organised family to come and help -- my sister was able to come for a few days when we came home from the hospital which was a god send. She took over the house and cooked, cleaned and looked after Nemo while we rested and bonded together after our first few days in hospital (it also gave Michael a much needed rest from handling everything by himself -- make sure to include ALL of the family in your birth plan not just mama and baby)
We set boundaries -- we limited visits, and made sure we prioritised ourselves over 'everyone meeting baby'. I wanted to stay in our little coccoon and didn't really feel like 'sharing' our baby yet! (apart from a select few like my sister and our parents) Everyone understood and respected that.
Organised for groceries to be delivered so we didn't have to leave the house!
Booked into seeing an osteopath within the first week or two post-birth for both myself and Lyla. Birth is such an incredible change and your body has gone through a lot, and so has you baby. Getting adjusted post-birth was amazing, it helped with my healing, and helped Lyla feel more settled and latch better after loosening her tight jaw and neck. Would highly recomend it no matter your birth.
Planmed to REST REST REST, and do very little (as much as possible), focus on bonding with baby.
Prepared some supplements and herbs to boost myself post-birth : things such as nettle tea for the minerals, Floradix to boost my iron after some bleeding at birth, stocked up on more of my prenatal vitamin + omega 3s + probiotic, Reishi, seeds, greens such as spirulina.
Got a big water bottle for easy drinking while in bed, and I really wanted to get myself an insulated mug as my tea didn't stand a chance to stay warm, I didn't but it's still on my "to-get" list.
This is a rough list of things we did and that worked for US, which doesn't mean it's what you should do, but I would highly recommend you write down your own postpartum plan at the same time as writing your birth plans. Write down everything YOU need and that are important to YOU and your family. Having a few backup plans and things organized (especially food!) will be soooo appreciated when you are in the depth of newborn days.
Of course, there isn't much you really NEED, but here are some of the things I got that helped, made our transition smoother, and a few things that were small little luxuries that made it all extra special.
For your body :
Having some comfortable clothing, a new pair of pjs to make it all feel extra special and comfortable (you'll also be leaking SO much that you'll be changing outfits multiple times a day...! something I didn't think about), and some breastfeeding friendly tops and bras really helped. Buying some comfortable black underwear for postpartum was also key! A mix of period pants and normal underwear to use with a pad in the early days was essential.
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For your boobs :
Oh the boobs! They go through a serious journey after birth..! My midwife said to wait until my milk came in to get a nice nursing bra because you never know what size they're going to get..! Breast pads and a nice soothing cream that's natural and breastfeeding friendly is very much needed too... SO.MUCH leaking...! I found the Haaka very handy when I was establishing my milk supply on a few occasions that my boobs felt like they were going to explode, it was great to catch the letdown (although I didn't overuse it as I was dealing with an oversupply)
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For healing :
No matter what kind of birth you've had, you will need to heal and rest. Here are a few things that helped! Not all essentials, but the natural cotton pads, the peri bottle if you've had stitches, and some supplements to boost your healing body were mine. Once you've healed looking after your pelvic floor is key (seeing an osteo or chiropractor will fast track your healing too) always check with your midwife or doctor before taking anything new of course!
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For your soul :
Little luxuries that make the postpartum period special and extra comfortable. I loved having a new set of sheets (not a colour you're too precious about..!) My pregnancy pillow was still very handy postpartum, helped to prop me up and I used it as a breastfeeding pillow at the beginning. A Kindle Paperwhite was a lovely little gift M got me which allowed me to read during late-night breastfeeding sessions (I've read more in the past 3 months than I have in years because of the Kindle!!). A salt lamp for soft lighting in the night, some nice skincare to make you feel like a queen. An eye cream, some witch hazel to make padsicles with! nice bath salts when you're allowed to have a bath again.. small luxuries that helped with my body and soul.
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The postpartum period doesn't just end once you've hit the end of the 4th trimester, and healing looks very different for everyone, something I remind myself of daily. I may feel 'relatively' normal and back to myself, but I need to remember that my body grew a baby for 9 months and is still very much growing a baby now via the boobs.
It took a while for my physical body to feel semi-normal again. My pelvic floor was non-existent, I dealt with some very annoying hemorrhoids post-birth (TMI but I think it's details like that that aren't spoken about enough, and really should, it's very normal for a lot of women and I wish I had known!), body aches from working hard doing the birth (like the biggest workout of your life, it felt like I had been doing weights and squats for days on end..), your organs are adjusting to slowly finding their space again, your brain feels foggy from the hormones and the lack of sleep, the emotions are at an all-time high... especially around day 3ish when your milk comes in. I cried about everything, about how happy I was, about dropping something on the floor, but also about how tired I was and how sad I was to be 'stuck in the hospital'. The first week postpartum is a roller coaster, nothing can quite prepare you for it, not in a scary way, it's the most magical, intense week of your life, you'll go high, you'll go low, but having the support of your partner and/or family is so important and that sweet little angel baby starring back at you is everything. What they don't tell you is that the love you'll feel for your baby makes everything 100 times easier, you'll forget how tired you are and you'll spend hours watching them sleep, feeling like the luckiest person in the world.
Be kind to yourself, be mindful of caring for your body and mind, be gentle with yourself, you are a goddess and your body is powerful. Never forget that.
