Going Freelance, Anxiety and Believing in Yourself

  1. Hélène says:

    Thank you so much for the honesty of this post. I have been in a similar place and it’s so comforting to know that others feel it too. In no time you will be looking back at this time and think- wow I made it through those months! Hope you take good care of yourself in the meantime. Sending you lots of positive thoughts!

    • Tania Joy says:

      Hi Hélène, thank YOU for your kind words. I was getting frustrated because I would never hear this side of the story from anyone online, apart from talking to my friends who are in similar situations, you just never really see that side of things and it’s true to most people who go freelance at some point. Whether you planned it well or not, this is just the universal right of passage into the freelance world.. we’re all in this together! We’ve got this!! Sending you lots of love xx

  2. Emma says:

    I completely get what you’re saying: freelance is scary, especially when you didn’t really plan it. I’ve been freelancing for two years (part-time though, I do have a safety net with my part-time job) following losing a job and not really knowing what to do with my life. I was just about to turn 30 and completely panicked. I had been working in the fashion industry for years and losing my job in horrible circumstances made me realise that it wasn’t the right industry for me. I had to completely reevaluate what I wanted to do and that was terrifying.

    I have a few regular clients that I work for every week, but nothing is contracted and that work could just stop overnight. I pitch idea after idea to publications I’d love to write for, and very, very rarely hear back. I spend so much of my time sorting out admin, invoicing people and chasing up pitches, knowing that I’m not getting paid for those hours. It can be very disheartening, and it’s scary not to know month on month how much money I will be making.

    All I can say to you is that you’re an incredibly talented photographer and story-teller, and the more you put yourself out there and the more work you get, the more people will hear about you and you are bound to secure more jobs. You seem to have a great supportive network of family and friends around you, and that’s what matters.

    I wrote a post on my own blog about the realities of freelancing this week (there must be something in the air!) It’s here if you’d like to have a read: http://www.fieldandnest.com/journal/2017/10/18/honest-thoughts-on-freelancing

    Have a lovely, relaxing time at home in France!

    Emma xx

    • Tania Joy says:

      Dearest Emma,

      You are the sweetest, thank you for sharing a part of your story with me. It’s hard but it will be worth it.. it will! and you’re so right to have kept your part time job. I’ve been also thinking of taking on a secure part time or even temp position to just have a little bit more of a safety net.. which is non-existent right now!

      Thank you thank you for your lovely words, always, it makes my heart happy <3 you are also super talented, just read your post and it’s perfect! I agree with the distractions, and finding the work.. and oh those days where you work so hard you even forget to eat! Those days.. they’re good because you feel like you’ve accomplished something (sometimes haha) but it’s tough… it’s hard to do it all, and do it alone. That’s also something I struggle with.. the loneliness of it all.
      I have Freya and it saves me to work together a few days a week, but when we don’t we both feel like we’re going a little mad! ha.
      Sending you some love lady, thanks for always being so kind and supportive, I really appreciate it xxxxx

  3. Lou says:

    Hello…We have a friend in common in Sophie so I am always feeling like I want to look out for the next generation coming through. I see so many challenges for your generation and the one after you, which is where my daughter is at. I would say about working freelance comes with enormous self-imposed pressure that can really escalate. I want to say: don’t worry!! It will all be ok and I am sure that is what you’re telling yourself. I am sure that is what your mum is telling you and now you need to believe it. Just trust the process. If its not OK then something else will shift and refocus and it will become OK. I look back on choices I made at your age that seemed so important and honestly now, I see they were all part of the journey. Big virtual hug and deep breath… Lou x (aka Big Sister)

    • Tania Joy says:

      Hi Lou, we sure do! Soph is an angel isn’t she?!
      I feel like I need to write down your words in capital letters and print them out to repeat to myself over and over.. TRUST THE PROCESS. It’s so true, and I know it is part of the journey, but with no perspective sometimes it’s hard to see where it all leads, but trusting that no matter what, everything is going to be ok -that’s a beautiful reminder. Sending you lots of love Lou xx

  4. Emma says:

    Hi. I came across your instagram/post and it really struck a bit of a soft spot for me. I haven’t been freelance properly before but have definitely had struggles with finances and anxiety living in London. And the questioning of whether things could have been differently. I also believe it’s true that you can never really be fully ready for a big change (such as going freelance). So don’t be too hard on yourself.

    It’s really tough because everyone is telling you that it’ll all be okay, which is comforting… but also it doesn’t really help with the actual fact that there are bills to pay and crazy expensive rent and all that. So it can be quite hard (even though what everyone is saying is completely right). Just don’t forget that you were brave to follow your dreams and you should be very proud of that. And it will all be okay as everyone keeps saying… things always work out somehow.

    I also think it’s so refreshing to see some honesty. Social media can make things seem so perfect on the outside, which is not often the case. So thank you for putting that out there, and I hope you take some comfort in the fact you aren’t alone in these worries.

    Hope you are feeling a bit better! 🙂

    • Tania Joy says:

      Hi lovely Emma!

      So happy you found my post 🙂 Thank you for your lovely words.. x

      London… ahhh where to start. I have a love/hate relationship with the city, I think most of it comes from the fact that I grew up in the countryside, and that’s my comfort zone. Things in the countryside are slower, calmer, cheaper..!
      The city can swallow you up if you let it, it brings out all your demons – including that silly anxiety. I keep saying that I’ll give London a couple more years until I’ll just HAVE TO leave.. but it’s true to say that it is also a wonderful city to live in and it has so many wonderful opportunities that we might not even come close to if we were to live in the middle of nowhere (which to me is the IDEAL living location.. haha) it’s hard but I don’t know about you, I’ve found ways to cope with the hecticness of it all.. including yoga, and getting out of the city every few weeks to go hug some trees haha I actually thought of writing a post about that, because I’m sure I’m not the only one struggling with city life in general!!

      I know you are right, things will work out, and better times will come! It’s just a matter of persevering, and taking care of ourselves 🙂

      Sending you some love, thank you again for your lovely comment xxx

  5. Natasha says:

    Oh Tania, I wish I could give you the biggest hug right now. It’s all going to be okay. Anxiety is a horrible thing. Don’t let it overshadow how incredible and brave you are. These are the tough times that you will look back on and it will help you grow. I don’t feel like I can give much wisdom as I’m not a freelancer and not working towards being one (yet) but I understand the feeling. I have been quite unhappy in my day job for a while and now is the time for me to look elsewhere and make a big change in my life. And honestly even though I know I’ll be happier and it is a step closer to achieving my dreams, I’m so completely nervous, anxious and have been doubting myself a lot the past few weeks. But I keep reminding myself that this part is only temporary. I take each day as it comes, try to take care of myself and pour my heart out to my love when I need to. Remember this patch won’t last forever and you’re going to do amazing things, actually you are doing amazing! Stay strong lovely. Natasha xx

    • Tania Joy says:

      Natasha! <3 I want to hug YOU! thank you!

      How exciting, it sounds like a big new chapter is waiting for you. I truly think that making those baby step towards your goals and dreams is the most important, it’s always too tempting to get stuck into a job because of the money or because it’s easy.. but going for what makes you truly happy, that’s where the gold is.

      It is nerve-wracking trust me, but you’re going to do so great, I know it! If you do something you love, by definition you will do bigger and better things. Trust your gut that if you know this is not making you truly happy, you will find something that will and it will be so worth it. Worth all the stress and self-doubt (I’m also talking to myself here haha)

      Sending you some love, let me know how it all goes, it’s going to be a magical adventure! xxx

  6. Amelia may says:

    These are wonderful words. Thank you for sharing this part of your story, I could very much relate. I think you’re so brave and doing a lovely job by following your heart and dream despite the hardships . . . . everything will steadily come together, I’m absoloutely sure. Keep going with what feels right and what you’ve created so well.

    My Bestest Wishes,

    Keep Calm and start writing –

  7. Frankie says:

    Oh my…this was just the exact thing I thought of way back when I was toying with the idea of becomming self employed or staying as a staff member..it’s not for everyone, but thank you for being bold and sharing your thoughts… Frankie x


  8. Chantel says:

    Wow, Tania.. I just knew, by the title of this post, that you were going to start raving on how wonderful and carefree life has been since you started working for yourself. The honesty here is beautifully refreshing. Thank you, thank you for being open enough to share this struggle. It’s so important for us creatives to keep it real about the good and the bad in this artistic journey of ours.

    Next you, you’ll definitely have more clients than you know what to do with. I’m putting that out there for you! 😉

    Xx Chantel

    • Tania Joy says:

      Chantel! so glad you enjoyed it 🙂 yes I agree.. I would hate to think of someone in my situation reading are my careless stress-free life.. when it couldn’t be further from the truth. We need connection.. and connection can only come from pure honesty.. I hope those clients hear you haha 😉 thank you for your lovely message, I hope you’re having a great weekend xx

  9. Annie says:

    Hey Tania. It’s a while since I wrote to you, and I’ve followed you for years. I agree with Chantel. Your honesty on this topic is refreshing and not depressing either.

    I’ve been in the media industry for some time, I’ve done the freelance thing, I’ve been employed by small and big companies. I wanted the security of employment again in a warm, friendly, big safe company, and now that I have it, I want the freedom of being freelance and in control of my destiny again! Change is good and frustrating and all of the feelings! You will find your flow soon. Some people find jobs for life. Some people find jobs for a few years at a time. Some can’t keep a job longer than a few months. But we all have those patches of life where nothing seems to sit quite right. And I know the anxiety of cost of living in London. Single, 35 and living alone working in Soho isn’t cheap and it’s scary because London is where the work is!

    So get those mumma cuddles, have some dog therapy and don’t feel guilty about any time you have free now if you can. Sometimes we can just put too much pressure on ourselves unnecessarily. Hugs! xxx

    • Tania Joy says:

      Hey Annie!

      Thank you so much for saying that.. I’m happy you could connect. I was worried it would be a bit too honest and scare people off.. or worse start a pity-party you know??

      You are so right, change is good, and in my experience nothing comes out of sitting comfortably in your comfort zone for too long… I need a challenge.. and yes this feels like a big one right now, but I’m trying to remind myself that this is not permanent.

      Argh.. London! That’s a whole other subject isn’t it? Living in a big city.. that’s where all the opportunities are, but that’s also where things get tough because the competition is high and the rent is VERY high…! but the only way I deal with that is knowing that I know London is for this portion of my life right now and that it won’t be forever! I always have the itch to move somewhere else.. so in a few years I think I’ll make THAT move – which will be a whole new topic haha!

      I hope you’re well and you had a lovely weekend! xxx

  10. Melinda says:

    Bravo. Life gets bloody tough at times and while I love and take great pleasure in sharing and seeing the beauty of the every day on social media etc., it’s so refreshing to read about the rawness of our existence too. I’m increasingly being drawn to bloggers/Instagrammers/writers who keep it real. No one lives in a picture perfect world, so why pretend otherwise? Some days just suck and that’s ok. I find writing it down and sharing can help immensely – it’s like a weight is lifted. Be kind to yourself and take care. Enjoy the comforts of home and the sanctuary that it provides, sheltering and nurturing you. I’m sure you’ll emerge a little stronger, wiser and calmer about the journey ahead. x

    • Tania Joy says:

      Hi Melinda,

      I’m the same! I love escaping and dreaming while scrolling through my Instagram.. but too much of that and I feel numb you know? I need a check back to reality, and I really appreciate when people open up and talk about things that people normally shy away from.

      Someone that is doing that very well at the moment is https://www.instagram.com/sydneyliann/?hl=en – do you follow her? She’s sucha babe, and she’s opened up about so much in the past few months and created this whole movement of women sticking up for each other and sharing.. because I feel like if connecting and sharing real emotions and moments.. then what’s the point?!

      Writing it down really does help! and sharing with loved ones.. I have a tendency to just close up when things go bad, and I’m really trying to work hard at opening up and talking things through rather than shutting down.

      Thank you thank you for your lovely words. I hope you’re having a wonderful weekend xxx

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