This morning I woke up happy. Not that I wasn’t happy yesterday or the day before (depending on my hunger level throughout the day, my answer could differ) This morning was just one of those moments where you look at your life and you like what you’re looking at, you know? You like where it’s going, you might not feel like you’ve got everything under control, but mostly, things are going okay.
I often get caught up in my fears and anxiety of what the future holds, of what life is ‘supposed’ to look like, or how much money is in my bank account or what I should or should not be doing, whatever crap is on the news – you know the drill. I rarely just take it all in and think, okay this is GOOD, I think I’ve got this, and I like it! I think, well this is good BUT… blah blah blah.
So this morning I just sat there in bed, the sun was peaking through the blinds, the bed was still warm on his side, and I felt like whatever today had in store for me, life was good.
The past two years have disappeared in a flash, last year had a lot of downs, we lost someone very close to us and it hurt for a long time, it was hard and confusing and scary. 2016 was a weird one, but good things happened too, I travelled to some amazing places, made new friends, grew closer than ever before to my other half who moved in with me. It had very low lows and relatively high highs, it wasn’t quite balanced but I made it work.
This place sort of fell on the side, it wasn’t my priority anymore. Maybe because I just need a kick up the butt sometimes, or perhaps it had something to do with the fact that my job revolves around the world of blogging and in the evenings or at the weekends I just need to disconnect, and just be. I think about the blog, often, I feel guilty, a lot, and I wish I was better at it. I miss it, I miss having a collection of photographs and memories to look back on – which is the reason why I started this to begin with.
I got stuck, the pressure of blogging these days is just out of control. The quality of content out there is so unbelievable that as someone who is extremely visual, it gets tough comparing yourself to everything out there on Instagram, blogs, Pinterest, Tumblr.. you name it. Constantly being bombarded by what everyone else is creating, at levels that feel so unattainable that instead of inspiring me, it leaves me feeling overwhelmed and stuck.
I don’t know about you, but the first blogs I ever read and got hooked on were the ones that showed real life, that talked about things in an honest and raw way – whether it was about a good sunset or a particularly good croissant or making a big life decision. The honesty and rawness of it all, that’s what I miss. Same goes with the photography.
All of this to say that I am not promising anything, but I am hoping to drop by more often, even if it’s just for a few words and some pretty pictures, or like today a lot of words and a few images. I’d like to share more with you, not everything of course, there are things that should be kept for oneself, but I’d like to be more spontaneous and enjoy it!
I’d love to hear what you think, what blogs do you read? what inspires you? what do you want to read about? what are your favourite accounts on Instagram? Are you as confused and overwhelmed as I am?!
So yes, today I woke up happy. I took a deep breath and started my day. I’ll do that tomorrow again, I think.